As I began to get better, my condition was downgraded to stable. I was moved to a different floor. That was the beginning of the healing process. The next goal was to get off the ventilator. I did not want to be on a ventilator for the rest of my life. I just couldn’t imagine living like that. I was determined to do anything in my own little way to avoid that.

The news of my injury had traveled. Some of my classmates saw it on the news and others read it in the newspaper. I was recovering in the hospital and thinking about my future. Will life as I knew it ever be the same? Will I fully recover and walk again? How could this have happened to me? I was not a bad kid. The questions were too many for me and I was not getting any answers. Anger and frustrations began to manifest in me.

Still in shock, I began to relive the day. Questioning every decision I made up till the moment. I started with where I parked my car. Why did I park in a location I don’t normally park? I began asking myself. Can you imagine my frustrations? Unable to speak or write but have so many questions I want to ask out loud. Anger and frustration were the only things I was experiencing. I did not want to be in that hospital. I was not alone. I had my family by my bedside. Communication was difficult for me and them. Where was I going to go next?

After hearing the devastating news from my Dr., I was lying there in shock. I could not express my frustrations verbally because I could not speak being on a ventilator . I thought this was not suppose to happen to me. What was I going to do now? No. This doctor is wrong. This has to be a mistake. So I thought. The thought of what the doctor said made me angry. I did not want to see him or hear what he had to say.